I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
