i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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