Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
