seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
