Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
