once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
