Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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