shes about as inviting as chlamydia
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
