ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
