I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
