I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
