I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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