I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
