i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
