I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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