The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
