one two three fourrrrnication!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
