Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Everclear isn't food dammit
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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