She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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