If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
