I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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