I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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