I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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