Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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