i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
