that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
