If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
