420 ftw
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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