Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
