someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
