I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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