Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
