She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This toilet bowl is my home.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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