Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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