I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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