why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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