My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
