I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
