awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
