There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
either way he was missing a nipple.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
