OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
