I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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