I can text with my tongue
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
