he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize