i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
