This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
