Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
