There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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