I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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