just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
How does one acquire holy water?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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