i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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