we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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