I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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